Managing the challenges of managing people

Managers face many challenges, but the toughest ones are those that relate to people, according to Todd Thomas, a professor at the graduate school of business, Northwood University.

"Human resources would be so easy if it weren't for the humans," he told an audience of auto repair shop owners and managers during the Automotive Aftermarket Products Expo show in Las Vegas last November.

"We're unpredictable. We take things personally, and we keep them for a long time."

He offered tips on how managers can deal with a few specific, and common, employee conflicts.

When a conflict or problem occurs in the workplace, a manager should gather the facts before addressing the issue; don't ignore it because it's uncomfortable; and be the first to make sacrifices.

"If what would help in this conflict is for you to give a little, then give a little. If no one wants to talk about it, including you, you should be the first one to talk about it," Mr. Thomas said.

"We're never going to get rid of tough manager challenges. That's what makes managers, managers."

But managers can deal with tough personnel issues by thinking about it, being direct and respecting the people involved, he said.

To be an effective leader, a manager needs to respond to personnel problems with realism, restraint and resolve:

• Realism — the balance between optimism and pessimism. If someone is always late, thinking they will stop being late is overly optimistic, he said. Thinking they are going to be late for the rest of their life and other employees are going to start being late, too, is pessimistic.

"Realism is taking a step back and looking at the situation and saying 'What's actually happening here, and what can I reasonably expect?' " he said.

• Restraint — avoiding the consequences of rash decisions. "As a manager, as a supervisor, one of the greatest skills that you can develop is that ability to stick a minute in there when you need to. To not respond as quickly as you might want to because you understand that whatever response you give as a supervisor or a manager, the more consequences there may be," Mr. Thomas said.

• Resolve — "Lots of times problems we have with particular employees are just easier not to deal with. One of the things I would encourage you to do is to avoid, first of all, denying that there's a problem, and, secondly, avoid 'avoiding' because there are very few tough manager people problems that will resolve themselves without any attention from you," he said. "So sometimes it just takes that moment where you decide: 'This has to stop. I have to deal with it.' And then plan on dealing with it."

Conflict between employees

When two employees are always arguing with each other and holding a grudge against one another, there are three strategies managers commonly use: ignore that there is a conflict between the employees; tell the employees they need to work it out themselves; or step in and impose a resolution.

Ignoring the problem is a legitimate strategy only when the problem is minor and it's going to fix itself, or the employees are on the verge of fixing it themselves. However, it could grow into a bigger issue if it creates a relationship problem and causes more problems down the road, he warned.

Mr. Thomas said the second resolution is a perfectly legitimate strategy if the manager has experience with these people long enough to know that they can resolve the issue between or among themselves and that they have some skill to do it.

Managers should consider imposing a resolution when the issue is time sensitive, when the problem has been going on for a while and doesn't look like it's going to get resolved, and when the problem is starting to impact other people or customers.

"Even if I step in to impose a resolution, I may have fixed the immediate problem, but I may still have a conflict that goes on for awhile," Mr. Thomas said.

He noted that managers need to realize people believe their perceptions. "As a mediator, the last thing you want to do is to tell me (the employee) that what I feel is wrong," he said.

"One way to mediate is to respect the fact that the people in the conflict believe exactly what they believe…conflict is an emotional thing. For you as a manager, it is not helpful if you are also emotional.… You have to be able to sit down and be the cool head in the room, even if you think one of the two is entirely wrong."

Conflict usually develops around an issue, and "what we're interested in, as a manager, is the business outcome. We are interested in the consequences of the conflict and how it is impacting our team, our business, our product, our customers and all of this. That's our focus," he said.

There's no way to get to a resolution without holding both sides accountable, he said. The manager needs to come up with a resolution that involves both people. "The fact that there is conflict almost always involves both people."

The manager has to meet with both parties together to figure out what is causing the conflict.

Often it's not about the time sheet or the phone call. It's about a feeling of a lack of respect, about not taking the time to listen or something entirely separate from what the facts are, Mr. Thomas said.

So the manager needs to listen to what they have to say, even if he/she knows they are wrong.

In the process of listening, the manager may be able to figure out what part is wrong or what is the data they think they have that's not exactly correct.

Often two people in a conflict will agree on the facts; what they won't agree on, necessarily, is who is to blame or who started it, he said.

"Don't meet ahead of time with each one separately unless you absolutely have to…," Mr. Thomas warned. "The reason is you want to go in with them to a meeting to develop a solution. Your job is to mediate their job."

Meeting individually could cause the other party to be suspicious of what is being said in the private meeting.

"So you may add to the conflict without meaning to," Mr. Thomas said. "Secondly, most of us sit (with the parties) individually and still don't know what's true.

"So what's really helpful is to start this meeting, in most cases, with both people in the room and say, 'The purpose of this is we're going to agree on some stuff, and we may not all love each other in the end, we may not hug in the end, but we're going to agree, so we can resolve this conflict.' And then have them listen to each other.

"I promise you that will, in most cases, save you a ton of time. And at the end if they come up with a resolution that you agree to, as opposed to you coming up with a resolution that they agree to, it gets resolved much quicker and for a longer period of time," Mr. Thomas said.

Problem employees

Problem employees are those individuals who meet business expectations but "are a pain in the butt and cause problems and have issues," Mr. Thomas said.

"We all have them. If you don't have them, you're blessed or you're ignoring it. Because very bright people, very good performers, often come with a tad of baggage and a negative side."

He warned managers not to label problem employees. "If you have been labeling this employee for a long time, it means you haven't addressed the issue yet.

"When you see they fall into a category, don't ignore it. Remember that from their point of view, what they are doing makes sense.

"One of the best things you can do as a manager is to own part of the problem. Even if you know you aren't the cause of the problem, approaching one of these discussions from the standpoint of 'What can I help you do? What did I ignore that I should have paid attention to so you weren't in this situation?''

He offered several examples of problem employees and how to resolve conflict in the workplace:

• Employees who lack initiative — Managers have to tell such employees exactly what to do every time they are given a job.

"It takes your time and energy. They sometimes impact the rest of the team, especially if they see this person is not bearing any of the consequences. So this is an important employee to deal with," Mr. Thomas said.

Managers should address the underlying reason for the lack of initiative: Has this employee been penalized at some point in the past for taking initiative? Did he or she get reprimanded in front of others or never get acknowledged for putting a lot of effort into something?

Managers should consider if they themselves have done something that undermined the employee's ability to take initiative, he said.

A manager may be such a strong leader and confident in the work he/she does that it may intimidate the employee and dampen initiative. Perhaps the manager fails to recognize and compliment an employee's initiative.

Sometimes employees don't take initiative because they're not clear on exactly what it is the manager wants them to do or they're not clear on the scope of what the manager expects them to do on their own, Mr. Thomas said, causing employees to be afraid of second-guessing the manager.

Managers also should allow employees to make mistakes. "A huge empowerment initiative is letting someone make a mistake," he said.

He also encouraged managers to praise their employees' efforts.

He said he often gets asked, "Why do I need to tell someone they did a good job when their job is what they actually did? My question is, 'Why would you not?' If you want them to take some initiative and they've taken some initiative, give them a little love for it. Just for the act of taking the initiative, not for the outcome.

"You can really teach people what you expect by what you praise…. People need to know they are doing the right thing and so initiative is one of them."

• Know-it-alls — "This person is usually highly analytical. They're usually highly driven for solutions. They're typically not very empathetic and typically not very self-aware," Mr. Thomas said.

Often this type of person considers everyone else to be inferior and this attitude can be a real problem among the staff. The challenge is they are brilliant, sometimes, and the company doesn't want to lose them, he said.

But this kind of person can cause an unhealthy work environment and create some very anxious people, he added.

He suggested a manager talk to the person specifically about the behavior — not "you're being a jerk" — but the times he/she continuously shoots down others' ideas, for example.

Talk about how the employee is isolating people and causing a real problem in the workplace — and figure out ways to avoid this behavior.

• Whiners — The person feels nothing is right and complains about everything, no matter how good it gets.

These employees feel they have little or no control in their world and/or feel like victims in their mind, and the world is keeping them from being successful.

The problem multiplies because this "victim" finds other "victims" in the workplace to commiserate with and together they sit and complain about how bad their job is or how bad their boss is, Mr. Thomas said.

He suggested the manager meet with the employee to discuss the specific problem the employee has a complaint about. Often this type of employee will provide only a general response, not a specific incident. Or they haven't actually experienced a problem but they've heard about it and they believe it to be true.

He suggested the manager ask the employee what the manager can do so he/she is no longer unhappy about it.

"They probably never thought about what it would take to fix what they are whining about because they have become very comfortable whining about it," Mr. Thomas said.

"If I can get them past whining to actually telling me what they're unhappy about, often it has nothing to do with what they are whining about. They were looked over for a promotion, they didn't get the raise they were promised or it may be stuff completely outside of work. Whiners are not typically content-specific," he said.

"Really pushing this person to be specific makes it difficult to continue being a whiner."

Personal problems

Personal problems are relevant, and they do sometimes have performance impacts, he said, which are sometimes ignored by management.

Warning signs that an employee is dealing with a personal problem include absenteeism, on-the-job "absenteeism" (lack of interest or poor attitude), new performance patterns and general conduct.

Performance issues have to be addressed and they need to be documented, Mr. Thomas said.

"It is important that you pay attention and document conversations that you've had, what you saw, what happened, who else was there and anything you did." He said this is important from a legal standpoint and from the manager's own reference standpoint.

"Addressing performance problems is your responsibility. Diagnosing and treating personal issues is not," he said.

"Some of us avoid personal issues at all costs but some of us get ourselves into conversations where we're giving personal advice and we're suggesting what they might do about this personal problem. That also is not a very good idea because typically we're not qualified to have that conversation."

However, a manager can show compassion, he said. So as the employee is explaining his personal problem, the manager can sympathize.

"But the next part of that conversation is, 'Now, what can we do about it because I can't let the performance issue continue?'"

The manager should never talk with the employee in front of others and should not try to solve the personal problem.

The manager can, however, discuss the consequences and expectations regarding the employee's work performance.

"Let them know that you care, still be compassionate and still hold your role as a manager," he said.

Focusing on behavior can be a challenge because people tend to jump to a generalization about an employee's personality.

The manager needs to recognize the job has a dual role : "What you really want to do is make the employee successful — that is a success for you and the employee. At the same time you have a responsibility to your organization to make sure the labor dollars that are spent are appropriate and that productivity and all these things are appropriate. So it really is a double-edged sword," Mr. Thomas said.

Management relations

When an employee is promoted to manager, one of the biggest mistakes he/she can make is telling fellow co-workers, "Nothing will change. We'll still be friends."

"When you get promoted, you are now the member of a different peer group (with other managers)…. You need to acknowledge that things have changed," Mr. Thomas said. "Being clear about your expectations and asking (former co-workers) for support is an important way to address friends and former co-workers. Don't dance around it. They know you are their boss now. So don't pretend like you're not.

"Truly having that conversation upfront and not trying to downplay it is the best way to deal with this. Most friends and former co-workers, they get it. They understand to some degree and it may be a loss for them, the fact that you are no longer working with them, but now you're managing them. That relationship is an actual loss."

He also warned new managers to avoid the perception of favoritism with former co-workers or discuss business transactions in a social setting.

"You can't forget the fact that you are their manager in your company. You can't pretend that's not the case....You cannot talk about other employees, you cannot talk about business transactions that you know that others don't.... Your friends are going to be asking you those questions, so the sooner you establish the boundaries, the better your friendship will continue to be because that's establishing expectations," he said.