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April 12, 2017 02:00 AM

OTHER VOICES: Can I be honest with you? No, lie to me

Special to Tire Business
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    (Telephone Doctor Inc. photo)
    Nancy Friedman

    By Nancy Friedman, Special to Tire Business

    ST. LOUIS, Mo. — I recently posted a short comment about the conversational use of the rhetorical question, “Can I be honest with you?” — something often used in sales.

    The responses I received contained a good amount of agreement that this is not a good phrase to use, so let's delve a bit deeper into this.

    What are the ramifications of saying, “Can I be honest with you?” to a customer, prospect or anyone for that matter? To name a few:

    • It's a ‘trust' violator.
    • It's considered “social noise.”
    • It reduces your credibility because, of course, people expect honesty. We call it a credibility buster.
    • There's a hidden message in what you're saying.

    And there are plenty of “cousins” to that phrase that are just as annoying. Do these sound familiar?

    • Can I tell you the truth?
    • Let me be perfectly frank.
    • You want the truth?
    • I'm gonna level with you.
    • Can I be candid with you?

     

    (The Walt Disney Co. caricature)

    “My name's Pinochio. Can I be honest with you?”

    Do you feel there is an appropriate time when it's OK to use this phrase? Here are three reasons why you shouldn't:

    • It's simply not effective — so avoid using it.
    • It's a totally useless phrase and can really annoy anyone hearing it.
    • This phrase questions your own integrity. Customers, family and friends expect the truth and your honesty.

    When we hear someone ask, “Can I be honest with you?” we tend to wonder about the previous and forthcoming information. We expect the truth every time. So why use this disclaimer?

    Here are a couple of replacements (there certainly are others) you might want to try out: “Here are my thoughts,” or “You make a good point; however, I was thinking about this….”

    Can I be honest with you? Don't use it.

    Nancy Friedman's columns appear periodically in Tire Business online and in print. She is president of St. Louis-based Telephone Doctor Inc., an international customer service training company. She can be reached via email at [email protected] or by phone at 314-291-1012. Her website is www.nancyfriedman.com.

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    Do you have an opinion about this story? Do you have some thoughts you'd like to share with our readers? Tire Business would love to hear from you. Email your letter to Editor Don Detore at [email protected].

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