This 'n that
Brutally honest-William D. Mason is chief prosecutor for Cuyahoga County, which encompasses Cleveland and a number of surrounding suburbs. He's also a 1982 graduate of Kent State University.
So it wasn't a big surprise to see a piece on the litigator in a recent edition of KSU's glossy alumni magazine. What was amusing, however, was a quote that seemed to slip through the cracks. Near the end of the profile, Mr. Mason remarked: ``Coming from a big family like I did, my parents weren't able to send me to a nice school....''
Oops. But coming from the hallowed halls of KSU ourselves, we have to set the record straight: It was a pretty nice school.
Mirror image-As it fights valiantly (key laugh track here) to survive, officials of Enron Corp. reportedly are considering changing the name of the company if and when it emerges from bankruptcy protection. Their goal, said a news report, is to not taint the image of some of the company's still-profitable units-such as its pipeline business.
Here's a suggestion: Just rename it Norne Corp. Think anyone'll catch on?
Language rules, dude-We are, you're fully aware, Tire-not Tyre-Business newspaper, though, in deference to some of our more accented readers, you could pronounce that ``Tahr Biz'nez.''
Nonetheless, a while back a Canadian newspaper apparently ran a series of articles about how to be a true Canadian. One of the first statements made in an article about language was that you must be Canadian if ``tire centre'' looks correct.
Of course, to the Brits it would be ``tyre centre.'' America took what it wanted from both of those English derivatives and settled upon ``tire center.'' But, frankly, we tyre of this discussion.
Let there be light-A sage named ``unknown'' once described ``flashlight'' as ``a case for holding dead batteries.''
Movers and takers
A couple months after offering $25,000 to people willing to change their surname to ``Dunlop-Tire,'' Goodyear Canada has nearly four dozen Canadians lined up to do just that.
For its Dunlop ``Tired of Your Name Challenge,'' the tire maker recently mailed information packages to 1,000 Canadian citizens with the last name ``Dunlop,'' offering the cash-which is about $16,000 in U.S. dollars-to add the ``tire'' post-script. By the time the imposed Jan. 11 deadline rolled around, the company said 45 persons had signed up to participate.
``Dunlop Tires may not be Canada's largest tire brand yet, but we now can count on at least 45 people who will never forget our name, because it's quite possible it will soon be their name, too,'' a Dunlop spokesman said.
The prospective ``Dunlops'' now have until March 11 to legally add ``-Tire'' to the end of their names. The $25,000 cash prize will be divided equally among those who actually go through with it, so if all 45 opt for hyphenated names, each will get $555.55.
Although the promotion is only open to adult Canadians, the company said it has received inquiries from across North America and as far away as Hungary.
Not grandpa's Caddy
A few years back General Motors Corp. tried pumping life into its sagging Oldsmobile unit with an ad campaign crowing that the nameplate's latest efforts were ``not your father's Oldsmobile.'' You can see what it did for that historic brand...the car maker pulled the plug on it.
GM's at it again, this time with the stodgy Cadillac brand.
The new Caddy marketing push shows, in some TV commercials, a classic Caddy being passed by a sleek new version-to the head-bangin' riff of Led Zeppelin's song ``Rock and Roll.''
That led a letter writer to Automotive News to note that, while driving home, he heard a DJ on a classic rock station talking about the Zep song, and Chevrolet's use of Bob Seger's ``Like a Rock'' and the melodious refrains of Aerosmith accompanying some Dodge commercials. The jock ``alluded to Cadillac drivers being the kind who drive with the turn signal stuck on,'' the letter writer said, ``and then he suggested that a better Led Zeppelin song might be `Dazed and Confused.'''
That's ``exactly the kind of stigma that using Led Zeppelin is supposed to change,'' the letter writer observed, adding: ``At least it has people talking.''
As the Zep sing: ``Been a long time since I rock 'n rolled''-so hey, Caddy...rock on.
Edited by Sigmund J. Mikolajczyk
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