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September 04, 1995 02:00 AM

THUMBS DOWN

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    Kevin Costner's soggy, expensive ``Waterworld'' flick seems to be taking somewhat of a drenching at the box office, leading a colleague to muse that it probably was bound for failure, anyway. A world without tires? Come on, Kev.

    Bound for the Stiff City best-seller list:

    The Wall Street Journal reported that a proof copy of a new American Bar Association guide to wills and estates is billed on the cover as ``the complete and easy guide to all the law every decedent should know.'' (For terminal insomniacs?)

    We wanted to make sure we alerted you to this real urgent recall situation, brought to our attention by the friendly folks at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

    The international horn emblem is missing, we repeat, missing from the leather steering wheel cover on several 1995 Ferrari models.

    NHTSA rightly says the absence of the emblem could result in a driver being unable to locate the horn in an emergency (exactly where is it?)-thus increasing the risk of a crash and injury.

    If you can afford a Ferrari, and can figure out how to start it, you're probably well on the way to knowing how to honk the horn. But at the speed you're likely driving, it won't much matter, anyway.

    Despite people having sex on the tracks (see Marketplace, July 24 issue), the New York subway system is trying to clean up its act. Part of that's due to upkeep.

    So the next time a customer quibbles about bringing in the old buggy for a check-up, mention the fact that routine maintenance does pay off.

    The New York City Transit agency said new cars and carefully scheduled maintenance has continued a decade of going farther between breakdowns-56,270 miles in 1994.

    That marked the 10th consecutive annual improvement for the subway system since the agency began bringing 1,775 new cars on line and rebuilding the rest of its 5,800-car fleet.

    Between 1984 and 1993, the mean mileage between breakdowns rose from 8,781 to 52,403.

    But they still can't keep 'em safe and free of graffiti.

    The next time you're thinking about remodeling your store, keep this in mind:

    The Cooper Marketing Group out of Oak Park, Ill., says that men aged 35 to 44 are more likely to pick fuchsia for the color of their next sport-utility vehicle, while women prefer hunter green.

    Based on surveys of 5,300 consumers, Cooper predicts brighter colors will dominate the vehicle landscape, though buyers also selected white, dark green, blues, some black, and lots of teals.

    And they say real men don't eat quiche, either. Hey, tire manufacturers-how about some designer colors to match?

    If you're going to remodel, for goodness sakes don't scrimp on that waiting area.

    A recent issue of Big O Tires Inc.'s newsletter offered its franchisees a merchandising and display quiz based on the company's ``Blueprint for Success'' standards.

    True or false: Candy machines are a nice addition to a Big O (or any) showroom? They say ``false,'' but anyone who's had the munchies mid-afternoon while sitting reading 2-year-old, dog-eared copies of Field & Stream might beg to differ.

    ``Why should employees never eat in the showroom?'' The Tribune said ``the smell of food is a turn-off to customers.'' (But the real truth is that the employees never seem to share with the patrons.)

    And last: ``The waiting area should always have at least these four items''-fresh coffee, pop machine, at least eight chairs, and current magazines (including, of course, TIRE BUSINESS).

    Winston Churchill said it: ``Politics are almost as exciting as war and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.'' The same goes for the competitive tire trade.

    In the Aug. 7 Marketplace we poked a little fun at the Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) for using a big string of acronyms in a press release headline. Now we can come clean: In the same issue, TB's front page Late News item was headlined-``MAST CEO to speak at SEMA/AI show.'' Mea culpa.

    Confidential to residents of Cobleskill, N.Y. and tire dealer Max Rua: Yes, we know the name of your town is not spelled Cobelskill (See Aug. 7 special issue). We try to mizpell at least one name in every issue just to keep our readers on their toes.

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    Do you have an opinion about this story? Do you have some thoughts you'd like to share with our readers? Tire Business would love to hear from you. Email your letter to Editor Don Detore at [email protected].

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