Remember those stupid suction-cup cats that were the rage a couple years back? And then it seemed every other car on the road began sporting a suction-cup ``Baby on board'' warning sign, or the ever-popular ``Ex-wife in trunk.'' The above sign was spotted at the convention and trade show of the Western States Tire & Automotive Service Association, held recently in Sparks, Nev.
It was in the exhibitor's booth of Montgomeryville, Pa.-based Jetzon Tire & Rubber Co. Inc. And yes, the company's vice president of marketing, Fred Hoffman, was on board-in a tuxedo, no less-to back up the sign's pledge.
Top-notch security system
A driver in Hammond, Ind., may have inadvertently come up with something equally as efficient as ``The Club '' vehicle security product. After he left his car running and entered a grocery store, a car thief hopped in, attempted to drive off, but got more than he bargained for, reported National Public Radio.
The motorist emerged from the store to see the crook running away screaming. The car had gone over a curb and couldn't be driven home, but was otherwise OK.
So was the owner's nine-foot pet snake, nestled safely in the back seat.
Those dratted meetings
Meetings-the bane of any group, business or organization.
An item headlined ``St. Louis meeting'' in the Missouri Tire Dealers & Retreaders Association newsletter, The Treadsetter, stated: ``Due to circumstances beyond your officers' control, the May 20th meeting had to be scheduled.''
You gotta do what you gotta do. The secret is to schedule it, but tell no one where it'll be held.
Danger lurks everywhere
Men's Health magazine put the odds of being injured by your toilet bowl cleaner at 1 in 173,972 annual risk; on the other hand, the odds of hiring a sleazy lawyer are 1 in 8-both unpleasant tasks.
Retired Ohio House Democrat Harry Meshel was always ready with a quotable quip during legislative debates. A recent profile on him, aired by WKSU-FM, a public radio station in Kent, Ohio, bore that out.
``. . . If you call this bill tort reform,'' he once said, ``you're about as optimistic as the guy who comes home at three in the morning, sees a cigar smoldering in an ashtray, and says, `Thank God my wife has finally quit smoking cigarettes and taken up cigars!' ''
Home sweet page
We've already reported that Goodyear has a ``home page'' on the Internet's World Wide Web, where the tire maker advertises various merchandise bearing the company's Wingfoot logo.
Titled ``The view from the blimp. . . ,'' it's accessed via CompuServe, among other electronic services, and boasts ``useful information'' on subjects including: ``The care and feeding of your tires.''
Something else for dealers to worry about-calls from customers wondering what to feed their new radials. Can you imagine the appetites some of those giant off-road tires probably have?
Pop quiz time
The Northwest Tire Dealers Assoc-iation, in its June newsletter, ran an item titled: ``Don't blame it on the tire!''
We can't testify to its veracity, but it sounds like a variation on the old ``The dog ate my homework'' excuse:
Four high-school seniors, afflicted with spring fever, skipped morning classes. After lunch, they reported to the teacher that their car had had a flat tire.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said: ``Well, you missed a test this morning, so take seats apart from one another and get out your notebooks.''
Still smiling, she waited for them to get settled down, then said, ``First question: Which tire was flat?''